Just a moment

So we trashed another van load of garbage at the dump. I was surprised at how solemn I felt immediately afterwards. I thought I would feel lighter but I did not. There was a wierd sense of not loss but embarrassment I think. I was more disappointed in myself for having gone on so long with all this stuff laying around. It eventually went away but I am now missing my parents in an inexplicably desperate way. I guess I am just having a moment. A part of the shedding process. But I wanted to record that it is not all fun and games in the downsize and more so it can be a bit confusing. I am having to take just a moment.